John Prine

Dear [D] Abby, Dear Abby, my [G] feet are too [D] long,

My hair's fallin' out and my [E] rights are all [A] wrong

My [D] friends they all tell me that I have [G] no friends at [D] all,

Won't you write me a letter, won't you [A] give me a [D] call

[G] Signed, [A] "Be-[D]-wildered"

[D] Bewildered, Bewildered, you [G] have no com-[D]-plaint

You are what you are, and you [E] ain't what you [A] ain't

So [D] listen up, buster, and [G] listen up [D] good

Stop wishin' for bad luck and [A] knockin' on [A] wood

Dear [D] Abby, Dear Abby, my [G] fountain pen [D] leaks,

My wife hollers at me, and my [E] kids are all freaks

Every [D] side I get up on is the [G] wrong side of [D] bed,

If it weren't so expensive, I'd [A] wish I were [D] dead

[G] Signed, [A] "Un-[D]-happy"

[D] Unhappy, unhappy, you [G] have no com-[D]-plaint

You are what you are, and you [E] ain't what you [A] ain't

So [D] listen up, buster, and [G] listen up [D] good

Stop wishin' for bad luck and [A] knockin' on [A] wood

Dear [D] Abby, Dear Abby, you [G] won't believe [D] this,

But my stomach makes noises when-[E]-ever I kiss

My [D] girlfriend tells me it's [G] all in my [D] head,

But my stomach just tells me to [A] write you in-[D]-stead

[G] Signed, [A] "Noise[D]maker"

[D] Noisemaker, Noisemaker, you [G] have no com-[D]-plaint

You are what you are, and you [E] ain't what you [A] ain't

So [D] listen up, buster, and [G] listen up [D] good

Stop wishin' for bad luck and [A] knockin' on [A] wood

Dear [D] Abby, Dear Abby, well [G] I never [D] thought,

That me and my girlfriend would [E] ever get caught

We were [D] sittin' in the backseat just [G] shootin' the [D] breeze,

With her hair up in curlers and her [A] pants to her [D] knees

[G] Signed, [A] "Just [D] Married"

[D] Just Married, Just Married, you [G] have no com-[D]-plaint

You are what you are, and you [E] ain't what you [A] ain't

So [D] listen up, buster, and [G] listen up [D] good

Stop wishin' for bad luck and [A] knockin' on [A] wood